Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Wierd Dong of...Fred Goodwin

The 'Weird dong' thing? Just an anagram of Fred Goodwin - the lovingly adored ex-chief of RBS.

None of this is new, and I may a get a date or two wrong (what else is new...). I've not bothered writing anything about this spectacularly failure of a piss-up in a brewery up until now - hoping there would be further developments. No doubt there will be, but with of an attention span only slightly better than a stupid amoeba with ADHD. I thought I'd better get something down. Politicians are 'outraged' - Me? I am immensely PISSED OFF! As indeed are plenty of others.

Some facts:
1. Goodwin is 50 years old (I won't use the 'sir' prefix because infers respect and I have as much respect for Goodwin as I do for The Boston Strangler)

2. He currently has a pension of £683,000 p.a. - i.e. over £1,8000 PER DAY!

3. This pension fund was doubled last October when he agreed to take early retirement - only, 'early retirement' in this case actually meant his arse was getting booted out the door. His cronies obviously thought driving a huge monolith into the ground deserved a reward. The only conclusions I can come up with are...
  • His cronies on the board were shit-scared of him
  • His cronies on the board loved him dearly
  • His cronies on the board were sickeningly sycophantic and gripped by group-think
  • His cronies on the board made positive changes to their own pension (this can only be a 'maybe' in the absence of corroborating facts)
4. Goodwin has a passion for restoring cars and for rugby - in the recent past, RBS sponsored motorsport and continues to sponsor rugby

5. RBS Recorded a loss of £24.1bn for 2008 - the largest ever recorded by a UK corporation

6. Goodwin said he had gave up a significant part of his salary as a "gesture" when he was negotiating his departure from the bank. Considering the stealthy nature of his mammoth pension tweak, this is laughable...On the Goodwin continuum of sacrifices this 'gesture' lies somewhere between having to throw out stale biscuits and giving a Fiver a year to Oxfam.

7. John Prescott has own ideas on getting back some of this vast sum of money..."The taxpayer has rescued them, there is billions of pounds involved, he's not entitled to this kind of pension, whether who knew about it or not, you can investigate that later. I believe basically take it off him and let him sue in the courts."

He blamed the former board of RBS for the "extraordinary" decision to award the "obscene" level of Sir Fred's pension. GO ON JOHN - WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A GREAT RIGHT HOOK!!!

8. The Government plain and simply fucked up. They didn't ask the right questions. They didn't ask questions of the right people. They sought no clarification and didn't test their understanding of what was going on.

9. The initial bail-out amount was £20bn with a further £13bn when the disastrous financial results were posted

10. When ENRON went under due to gross mismanagement, the law firm undertaken to fight Enron were very successful. RBS has assets (liabilites?) in the US - might Goodwin feel some heat from the USA?

11. The purchase of ANB AMRO has been blamed for the ultimate demise of RBS. It has been alleged that RBS bought the company before goining through their financial statements with a fine toothed comb - an accustation leading RBS to issue words to the effect that "Due Dilligence" had been followed. Oh Really? It transpired that ANB AMRO was not worth the corporate stationery it was printed on. Literally.

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