Friday 27 March 2009
Friday 20 March 2009
Abstinence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
As a "lapsed catholic" (and Christian for that matter), some of the ill-considered and morally hidebound statements from the Vatican often leave me either angry or in despair, or both. The latest Papal faux pas was made in an announcement by Pope Benedict on Tuesday 17th March '09. "HIV/Aids is a tragedy that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem." WHAAAT!
The statement was made as he began his visit to the African continent - a continent horrifically ravaged by the disease. His alternative? Abstinence. That's right...just don't do 'it.' C'mon, that may be a viable alternative for a man in his 80's, but for today's lovers it makes as much sense as trying to put out a fire with petrol.
Get a grip on reality! It has been a mammoth task to get Africans to use condoms in order to try and contain the disease. We are dealing with a less informed and culturally diverse population. Abstinence is light years away from a workable alternative and succinctly shows just how out of touch with the real world the rarified echelons of the Catholic Church are.
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Hari-Kiri For The A.I.G. Fatcats
I've never been a fan of Republican politics or Republican politicians for that matter. However. Iowa Senator Charles Grassley is an exception. AIG was baled out to the tune of $170 billion of taxpayers money, yet it paid out $165 million in bonuses. Senator Grassley - like countless others - does not like it. Not one bit. He stated, "I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed," Grassley said, "But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.
"And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology."
A spokesman later tried to backtrack on the comment, but I for one am glad that someone in public office had the balls to properly describe his disgust at the grasping greediness.
WELL DONE SENATOR GRASSLEY!
Sunday 15 March 2009
Fuck, Bastard, Bugger, Toss, Crap, Prick...
I am not averse to the odd curse-word or two - but, like countless others, circumstances dictate when I swear. "Fuck" is the archetypal four-letter word, so it seems as good a word as any to start a wee discussion on swearing and swearwords.
Wikipedia gives a rather good introduction to the word "Fuck"
"Fuck is an English word that, as a transitive verb, means "to have sexual intercourse with.
In the modern English-speaking world, the word fuck is often considered highly offensive. Most English-speaking countries censor it on television and radio. A study of the attitudes of the British public found that fuck was considered the third most severe profanity and its derivative motherfucker second. Cunt was considered the most severe (Hargrave, 2000). Some have argued that the prolific usage of the word fuck has de-vulgarized it, an example of the "dysphemism treadmill". Despite its offensive nature, the word is common in popular usage.
The highly profane term remains a taboo word to many people in English-speaking countries, while others feel the word remains inappropriate in social etiquette when used by a male in the presence of women. The word also carries a sacrilegious connotation to some. Many religious people oppose the use of profane, vulgar, and "curse" words which they see as offensive to a deity. Finally, it is considered highly offensive to utter the word in the presence of children.
Non-English-speaking cultures tend to recognize the word's vulgarity. However, it generally is not censored as frequently in those forums.
Proof of the more relaxed attitude about this English word in non-English countries was very publicly visible on billboards around the downtown of Paris, France in the early 1990s. They featured a woman sticking her tongue out in defiance, along with the slogan "Préservatifs Fuck le SIDA" ("Condoms fuck AIDS")
The Canadian Press now considers the word to be commonplace and has added usage advice to the Canadian Press Caps and Spelling guide."
Wikipedia gives a rather good introduction to the word "Fuck"
"Fuck is an English word that, as a transitive verb, means "to have sexual intercourse with.
In the modern English-speaking world, the word fuck is often considered highly offensive. Most English-speaking countries censor it on television and radio. A study of the attitudes of the British public found that fuck was considered the third most severe profanity and its derivative motherfucker second. Cunt was considered the most severe (Hargrave, 2000). Some have argued that the prolific usage of the word fuck has de-vulgarized it, an example of the "dysphemism treadmill". Despite its offensive nature, the word is common in popular usage.
The highly profane term remains a taboo word to many people in English-speaking countries, while others feel the word remains inappropriate in social etiquette when used by a male in the presence of women. The word also carries a sacrilegious connotation to some. Many religious people oppose the use of profane, vulgar, and "curse" words which they see as offensive to a deity. Finally, it is considered highly offensive to utter the word in the presence of children.
Non-English-speaking cultures tend to recognize the word's vulgarity. However, it generally is not censored as frequently in those forums.
Proof of the more relaxed attitude about this English word in non-English countries was very publicly visible on billboards around the downtown of Paris, France in the early 1990s. They featured a woman sticking her tongue out in defiance, along with the slogan "Préservatifs Fuck le SIDA" ("Condoms fuck AIDS")
The Canadian Press now considers the word to be commonplace and has added usage advice to the Canadian Press Caps and Spelling guide."
There are several theories regarding the word's origin (some say as long as 500 years old). It seems to be generally agreed that word has Anglo Saxon/Germanic roots related to words such as rubbing, striking and having sex.
Okay, so much for the word 'fuck.' The English language is peppered with other curse words - a brief sample being: Bastard, Bugger, Crap, Toss(er), Prick and everyone's least favourite, the 'C' word.
Bastard literally means born out of wedlock. As far as I'm concerned it's open to debate as whether it's an insult or a genuine swearword.
Bugger has a literal meaning of anal intercourse. However, the strange thing is, more people are offended by Fuck than Bugger. If taken literally..."Fuck Me" means have 'sexual intercourse with me' and "Bugger Me" means 'have anal intercourse with me.' Bugger is rarely considered an extreme curse-word. In fact, many don't really see it as swearing. It seems that if you want to insult and shock anal intercourse doesn't do the trick nearly as effectively as sexual intercourse.
Toss is slang for male masturbation. A Tosser is a male masturbator, and as an insult is fairly innocuous. And why not? We've all had a solitary sexual experience on occasion. All pretty straightforward so far.
Crap is faeces. Yep, a smelly old turd. It is widely used and causes relatively little offence, yet we're talking about a bowel movement here.
Prick/Dick is a penis. It's usage is relatively common, but it lags some way behind 'Fuck' (sexual intercourse) when it comes to shock value.
Lastly, that nasty old "C" word - a vagina. Strangely - when one compares it's literal translation to other curses - this is reported to be the most offensive of swearwords - way, way ahead of 1. Fuck (Sexual Intercource) 2. Bastard (Born out of Wedlock) 3. Bugger (Anal Intercourse) 4. Toss (Male Masturbation) 5. Crap (Faeces) and 6. Prick/Dick (Penis).
It seems that swearing is in the ear of the (conditioned) listener. Personally...I couldn't give a toss/shit/fuck/bugger.
Okay, so much for the word 'fuck.' The English language is peppered with other curse words - a brief sample being: Bastard, Bugger, Crap, Toss(er), Prick and everyone's least favourite, the 'C' word.
Bastard literally means born out of wedlock. As far as I'm concerned it's open to debate as whether it's an insult or a genuine swearword.
Bugger has a literal meaning of anal intercourse. However, the strange thing is, more people are offended by Fuck than Bugger. If taken literally..."Fuck Me" means have 'sexual intercourse with me' and "Bugger Me" means 'have anal intercourse with me.' Bugger is rarely considered an extreme curse-word. In fact, many don't really see it as swearing. It seems that if you want to insult and shock anal intercourse doesn't do the trick nearly as effectively as sexual intercourse.
Toss is slang for male masturbation. A Tosser is a male masturbator, and as an insult is fairly innocuous. And why not? We've all had a solitary sexual experience on occasion. All pretty straightforward so far.
Crap is faeces. Yep, a smelly old turd. It is widely used and causes relatively little offence, yet we're talking about a bowel movement here.
Prick/Dick is a penis. It's usage is relatively common, but it lags some way behind 'Fuck' (sexual intercourse) when it comes to shock value.
Lastly, that nasty old "C" word - a vagina. Strangely - when one compares it's literal translation to other curses - this is reported to be the most offensive of swearwords - way, way ahead of 1. Fuck (Sexual Intercource) 2. Bastard (Born out of Wedlock) 3. Bugger (Anal Intercourse) 4. Toss (Male Masturbation) 5. Crap (Faeces) and 6. Prick/Dick (Penis).
It seems that swearing is in the ear of the (conditioned) listener. Personally...I couldn't give a toss/shit/fuck/bugger.
Wednesday 11 March 2009
Shengus: An Ex-patriate Scot in South East Asia
There was a young man fae Cumbernod,
Who decided to gie Asia the Nod.
He goat oan a plane tae fly away fae the rain and
is noo living the life ae a lord.
Who decided to gie Asia the Nod.
He goat oan a plane tae fly away fae the rain and
is noo living the life ae a lord.
Tuesday 3 March 2009
Wierd Dong of...Fred Goodwin
The 'Weird dong' thing? Just an anagram of Fred Goodwin - the lovingly adored ex-chief of RBS.
None of this is new, and I may a get a date or two wrong (what else is new...). I've not bothered writing anything about this spectacularly failure of a piss-up in a brewery up until now - hoping there would be further developments. No doubt there will be, but with of an attention span only slightly better than a stupid amoeba with ADHD. I thought I'd better get something down. Politicians are 'outraged' - Me? I am immensely PISSED OFF! As indeed are plenty of others.
Some facts:
1. Goodwin is 50 years old (I won't use the 'sir' prefix because infers respect and I have as much respect for Goodwin as I do for The Boston Strangler)
2. He currently has a pension of £683,000 p.a. - i.e. over £1,8000 PER DAY!
3. This pension fund was doubled last October when he agreed to take early retirement - only, 'early retirement' in this case actually meant his arse was getting booted out the door. His cronies obviously thought driving a huge monolith into the ground deserved a reward. The only conclusions I can come up with are...
5. RBS Recorded a loss of £24.1bn for 2008 - the largest ever recorded by a UK corporation
6. Goodwin said he had gave up a significant part of his salary as a "gesture" when he was negotiating his departure from the bank. Considering the stealthy nature of his mammoth pension tweak, this is laughable...On the Goodwin continuum of sacrifices this 'gesture' lies somewhere between having to throw out stale biscuits and giving a Fiver a year to Oxfam.
7. John Prescott has own ideas on getting back some of this vast sum of money..."The taxpayer has rescued them, there is billions of pounds involved, he's not entitled to this kind of pension, whether who knew about it or not, you can investigate that later. I believe basically take it off him and let him sue in the courts."
He blamed the former board of RBS for the "extraordinary" decision to award the "obscene" level of Sir Fred's pension. GO ON JOHN - WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A GREAT RIGHT HOOK!!!
8. The Government plain and simply fucked up. They didn't ask the right questions. They didn't ask questions of the right people. They sought no clarification and didn't test their understanding of what was going on.
9. The initial bail-out amount was £20bn with a further £13bn when the disastrous financial results were posted
10. When ENRON went under due to gross mismanagement, the law firm undertaken to fight Enron were very successful. RBS has assets (liabilites?) in the US - might Goodwin feel some heat from the USA?
11. The purchase of ANB AMRO has been blamed for the ultimate demise of RBS. It has been alleged that RBS bought the company before goining through their financial statements with a fine toothed comb - an accustation leading RBS to issue words to the effect that "Due Dilligence" had been followed. Oh Really? It transpired that ANB AMRO was not worth the corporate stationery it was printed on. Literally.
None of this is new, and I may a get a date or two wrong (what else is new...). I've not bothered writing anything about this spectacularly failure of a piss-up in a brewery up until now - hoping there would be further developments. No doubt there will be, but with of an attention span only slightly better than a stupid amoeba with ADHD. I thought I'd better get something down. Politicians are 'outraged' - Me? I am immensely PISSED OFF! As indeed are plenty of others.
Some facts:
1. Goodwin is 50 years old (I won't use the 'sir' prefix because infers respect and I have as much respect for Goodwin as I do for The Boston Strangler)
2. He currently has a pension of £683,000 p.a. - i.e. over £1,8000 PER DAY!
3. This pension fund was doubled last October when he agreed to take early retirement - only, 'early retirement' in this case actually meant his arse was getting booted out the door. His cronies obviously thought driving a huge monolith into the ground deserved a reward. The only conclusions I can come up with are...
- His cronies on the board were shit-scared of him
- His cronies on the board loved him dearly
- His cronies on the board were sickeningly sycophantic and gripped by group-think
- His cronies on the board made positive changes to their own pension (this can only be a 'maybe' in the absence of corroborating facts)
5. RBS Recorded a loss of £24.1bn for 2008 - the largest ever recorded by a UK corporation
6. Goodwin said he had gave up a significant part of his salary as a "gesture" when he was negotiating his departure from the bank. Considering the stealthy nature of his mammoth pension tweak, this is laughable...On the Goodwin continuum of sacrifices this 'gesture' lies somewhere between having to throw out stale biscuits and giving a Fiver a year to Oxfam.
7. John Prescott has own ideas on getting back some of this vast sum of money..."The taxpayer has rescued them, there is billions of pounds involved, he's not entitled to this kind of pension, whether who knew about it or not, you can investigate that later. I believe basically take it off him and let him sue in the courts."
He blamed the former board of RBS for the "extraordinary" decision to award the "obscene" level of Sir Fred's pension. GO ON JOHN - WE ALL KNOW YOU HAVE A GREAT RIGHT HOOK!!!
8. The Government plain and simply fucked up. They didn't ask the right questions. They didn't ask questions of the right people. They sought no clarification and didn't test their understanding of what was going on.
9. The initial bail-out amount was £20bn with a further £13bn when the disastrous financial results were posted
10. When ENRON went under due to gross mismanagement, the law firm undertaken to fight Enron were very successful. RBS has assets (liabilites?) in the US - might Goodwin feel some heat from the USA?
11. The purchase of ANB AMRO has been blamed for the ultimate demise of RBS. It has been alleged that RBS bought the company before goining through their financial statements with a fine toothed comb - an accustation leading RBS to issue words to the effect that "Due Dilligence" had been followed. Oh Really? It transpired that ANB AMRO was not worth the corporate stationery it was printed on. Literally.
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